Day 30

Also known as "5 Reasons that I am a moron"
5. I forget things that are important
4. I can't take a hint
3. I think I can make things work, when I can't
2. I can't let things or people go
1. I emailed my ex, even though I'm pretty sure he forgot about me by now.

So, in March Connor and I broke up. It was a very tearful day for both of us, but he had to move, and nothing was going to change it. He made the decision and I let him. I didn't want our last day together be a fight. Since then, there have been a handful of emails between us. They are very far and few between. Only one or two have been initiated by him. The others were when I emailed him. I have thought about him almost incessantly since then. I want him in my life- even if it is not as a boyfriend. The boyfriend ship has sailed, but why must we be strangers? It isn't like we wanted to break up! If that was the case (like with Sevan) then I could understand that. Also, I still talk to Sevan and Frank. Both of them are on my FB page, and when I broke up with Frank, it was most definitely pretty. We talked after, but the initial break up consisted of me telling him to take a hike. We still talk. Maybe it is because Connor broke up with me, and not the other way around? IDK. I am pathetic. Any ways, I emailed Connor this morning, telling him how I feel. I knew that I would feel awful once I sent it, but that didn't stop me. I still did it. Now, I anxiously await his response. It could take anywhere from a few more hours, to weeks or even months before he replies; I am in knots about this. I don't know what to do.