Typos

I hate reading a post or message that someone wrote and being so distracted by bad grammar and spelling that I just give up. Well, I was reading some of my old post and I am guilty. I hang my head in shame. To be fair, most of the mistakes and whatnot ARE just typos, so I can almost forgive myself for that. Plus the fact that I tend to write tired, so I am not paying attention.

WTF???

I logged on and was trying to look at my recent posts, but it says that they don't exist O.O
holy fritos! I hope not. I put a lot of effort into this blog

So, about what I said earlier....?

I noticed that a couple of posts earlier, I said that Connor and I were not going to be in a relationship, and then last post said we were.... tee hee oops? I really like him. He is the most sweet and understanding man I have ever met. He always seems to know just how to react to me.

This past weekend, I was an emotional wreck. I don't know why, but I was. I cried twice and I could tell that he was freaked out by it, but he still reacted perfectly. Both times, it started with something sexual. He just held me and said that he was there for me no matter what and that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to. I felt so bad, but I am getting more and more uncomfortable around the male body as time goes on. I used to attribute my phallaphobia to inexperience, but I don't think I can say that now. He asked me to give him a BJ and I burst into tears. How pathetic is that? I don't know if this has anything to do with my sexual orientation or my background, but I want answers! I am so frustrated, and I know he is too.

So, I know I touched on the fact that I like to be spanked. As with most women, this is generally a playful and sexual thing, but I have also been curious about domestic discipline. So, when Connor told me that I was being lazy and deserved a real spanking, I said ok. Unfortunately for me, he brought it up a week or two before the event itself. Therefore I had plenty of time to psych myself out. I know that he would never injure me, but I knew it would hurt a lot. When the time came, he gave me a warm up with his hand and then spanked me with a ruler. It stung quite a bit, but it was nothing too bad...Then he got out the bath brush. *shudder* That thing is brutal. He said he didn't hit me that hard, but I started crying from the pain. That was the first time in a long time that I have cried from pain of any sort, especially outside pain. He was going to spank me with the spoon as well, but he said that I obviously had enough. Once he let me up, he gathered me into his arms and let me calm down. He assured me that I took my spanking like a 'good girl' and that it was all over. I am not saying that I would look forward to another spanking like that, but I trust him if he ever says that I need another one. At first, I didn't want him to playfully spank me, but after a while my mischievous side took over once again. :) I think that a loving DD relationship would be very healthy for me. I hope that, IF I decide to be in a relationship again, it will be very much like this one.

Sadly for me, Connor is moving to North Carolina on March 12th. We will more than likely break off our short lived relationship at that point and go our separate ways.

I am starting a new job soon. I took and passed the test to become a substitute teacher in the San Diego Unified District. I hope that I actually get some work soon, but I have to get TB tested and do some paperwork first. Ugh.