Day 8

Wow, I am trying so hard to keep/ start a routine, but I can never seem to do everything on my list. It's not a long list. It's not a difficult list. None of the things on the list are things that I am trying to avoid. (Normally). So, why is it so difficult to do? Am I really going to have to revert to the old way of doing things? Again? Grrrr. I think I might do it opposite this time. That is at least a bit less frustrating. Instead of starting with only one thing on the list, I will start with ten, since that is usually the number of things on my list now. Every day that I don't complete the full list, I take one item away until there is a day that I do the full list. Once that happens, I go in the other direction. Every day that I can complete the full list, I am allowed to add to the list, until it has ten items again. If I am consistently successful with ten items, then I can start taking off small items, and replacing them with bigger items. This is especially helpful because most of the things on my list now, are things that I try to do every day- i.e. walk the dog, write in my blog, do a typing test...etc. Eventually, the goal is to do these things everyday without thinking. They should become a habit.


On another note, I have been self-diagnosed with BPD. AKA Borderline Personality Disorder. I looked up several disorders and phobias, but that one seemed to fit me pretty well. The only thing is that I don't have anger problems. Other than that, I fill the bill. I have to wait to see a real psychiatrist though.