I forgot to add this to my last post.
Today whilst roaming around the bookstore on campus, a store employee complimented my eyes. He was backpedaling while he did this and ended up running into a rack of clothes. It reminded me of the scene in "memoirs of a geisha" when the mentor says that a sign of being ready is to be able to distract a man with one look. I am ready sensei! LOL
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Cliff Syndrome
Has anyone else suffered from this? You meet someone or sign up for a new website and you get lots of attention. Lots of email, text, friend requests, everyone loves what you post....then with out warning or reason, you get crickets. No one answers your texts or comments on your new pictures or replies to your messages.
I don't understand why this happens. I am sick of it! I get so excited to be around people, and then I feel as though the rug was ripped out from under me. It happens every time. Even with people I consider really good friends. I just suddenly don't exist. :(
The reason I call it cliff syndrome is that I feel like those cartoons when a character walks off a cliff and doesn't realize it until they look down.
I don't understand why this happens. I am sick of it! I get so excited to be around people, and then I feel as though the rug was ripped out from under me. It happens every time. Even with people I consider really good friends. I just suddenly don't exist. :(
The reason I call it cliff syndrome is that I feel like those cartoons when a character walks off a cliff and doesn't realize it until they look down.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Update
Well, it has been over a month since my last post, and a LOT has happened. I moved in to my new studio with Katie on the first. Frank picked me up from the airport and helped me move. It is obscenely hot and sweaty here. I tried to be frugal with the AC, but I kind of gave up on that. I was not hired with MP(bummer) but I am going to volunteer with the hopes that I will eventually be hired on. Still going to search other places for a job in the meantime. Frank and I have been together since the beginning of the month and I think we will have a very fun time together. Our personalities differ a bit, but "opposites attract" I guess. I am trying to sell my bike and see what else I can do o make a few extra bucks to ease the burden on my parents. Katie has been gone most of the time this month and I have a feeling that she will continue the trend. I spend WAY too much time in the studio because the campus is so dead right now. I plan to explore the surrounding area this year and get out frequently, instead of staying in the studio and sulking. I hope my prescription continues to help keep my mood stable-er so that I can enjoy life. I have been continuing to improve my life in small ways. I get up at 5 most days and swim basically everyday (although the heat helps motivate me on that note). I have started to read the Bible again, and when Naomi gets back, i hope to go to church with her again. Life is frustrating and never simple. It is never ideal or perfect, but all things considered, I am living a pretty great life right now. :)
Saturday, June 30, 2012
new play by play
tomorrow, July 1st, I get my internet video privileges back. one month till moving
I still am waiting for Aaron to get my mom's cosign form
July 3rd is my interview with Matador Patrol
July 4th is independence day
July 5th is class registration
July 7th three weeks to go!
July 14th two weeks notice at work
July 21st get packing and make sure I have a flight picked out
August 1st Move out and in day!
I still am waiting for Aaron to get my mom's cosign form
July 3rd is my interview with Matador Patrol
July 4th is independence day
July 5th is class registration
July 7th three weeks to go!
July 14th two weeks notice at work
July 21st get packing and make sure I have a flight picked out
August 1st Move out and in day!
Update
blahblahblah...bored. I finally started a new-ish wake up routine. i say new-ish because it's the same routine, only I am actually doing it. I wake up at five, go online, say two quotes that put me in a good mood and do a few calm things like read my Bible or practice ambidexterity. Stuff like that. I find that waking up early makes it easier to have good attitude later in the day. Once I get used to waking up that early, I will get a more settled routine of exactly what I need to do, including exercising at the SRC and making myself some tea.
I may have a job already lined up for when I get back. Matador patrol called and we set up an interview via Skype for Tuesday at 3:15. *fingers crossed* that I get the job. Even if I only get a few hours here and there, it would be worth it to get this job because A) I might be able to work nights and not interfere with my class schedule B) they will be more flexible and willing to work around my schedule- including during finals and C) if I decide to get a second or different job, it will be easier to get one when I already have a job. :)
My emotional state has been a lot better recently. I have been working on being confident and working towards my goals and keeping busy as much as possible. I had a confrontation/ intervention with my parents a while back, and basically I realized that, yes, sometimes I need to focus on myself and let other people deal with their own problems, but I was doing it at all the wrong times, and my self control was non-existent.
I love talking to Frank. He makes me all jittery inside. :p (my capital p button is not working ) I drew a picture of him (i tend to draw a picture of all the guys i like at some point or another. they inspire me) I am so impatient! tomorrow i can start video Skyping him again (internet caps are a pain!) and in one month, I will be back in Northridge, so I can give him a big hug! :D
I may have a job already lined up for when I get back. Matador patrol called and we set up an interview via Skype for Tuesday at 3:15. *fingers crossed* that I get the job. Even if I only get a few hours here and there, it would be worth it to get this job because A) I might be able to work nights and not interfere with my class schedule B) they will be more flexible and willing to work around my schedule- including during finals and C) if I decide to get a second or different job, it will be easier to get one when I already have a job. :)
My emotional state has been a lot better recently. I have been working on being confident and working towards my goals and keeping busy as much as possible. I had a confrontation/ intervention with my parents a while back, and basically I realized that, yes, sometimes I need to focus on myself and let other people deal with their own problems, but I was doing it at all the wrong times, and my self control was non-existent.
I love talking to Frank. He makes me all jittery inside. :p (my capital p button is not working ) I drew a picture of him (i tend to draw a picture of all the guys i like at some point or another. they inspire me) I am so impatient! tomorrow i can start video Skyping him again (internet caps are a pain!) and in one month, I will be back in Northridge, so I can give him a big hug! :D
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
play-by-play
Not that you need one, whoever you are, but I am going crazy here in Oregon. Everytime I check to see how long until I go back to CSUN, it seems as though no time has elapsed.
May 19th: I arrived in Bend! Some relatives were staying over, so I spent the first few days sleeping in the guest bedroom and getting my job back at Subway.
May 25th: Working at Subway again and finally moved into my "permanent room"
June 1st: Still working at Subway and settling in
June 8th: Met Mikey and his family. Got an offer to teach his family ASL, but it never worked out. Also got really drunk on Saturday. I guess I am not very good at knowing my limits yet
June 15th: getting antsy and started cutting on Monday. Founda website that I thought would help me, but after my computers got viruses, I am afraid to go on it again
June 20th: I am counting the days until I can go to CSUN again. I am worried because I need to know where I will live and because I am not making very much money. I already submitted my cancelation for the dorms, so if the apt falls through, then I have no place to live and I am screwed.
June 27th: I will hopefully know if I got the apt and be cosigned and everything.
July 4th: Independance day!!!
July 5th: register for classes
July 11, 18, 25: Continue to work and save money for fall
August 1, 8th: Get ready to go back to CSUn. Not sure if going back this week or next, but I will be packed probably by the first and quit Subway the day before I leave. I can't decide if I want to leave earlier and be in CSUN sooner to get settled down and start looking for a job, and be with Frank, or later and have more money?
May 19th: I arrived in Bend! Some relatives were staying over, so I spent the first few days sleeping in the guest bedroom and getting my job back at Subway.
May 25th: Working at Subway again and finally moved into my "permanent room"
June 1st: Still working at Subway and settling in
June 8th: Met Mikey and his family. Got an offer to teach his family ASL, but it never worked out. Also got really drunk on Saturday. I guess I am not very good at knowing my limits yet
June 15th: getting antsy and started cutting on Monday. Founda website that I thought would help me, but after my computers got viruses, I am afraid to go on it again
June 20th: I am counting the days until I can go to CSUN again. I am worried because I need to know where I will live and because I am not making very much money. I already submitted my cancelation for the dorms, so if the apt falls through, then I have no place to live and I am screwed.
June 27th: I will hopefully know if I got the apt and be cosigned and everything.
July 4th: Independance day!!!
July 5th: register for classes
July 11, 18, 25: Continue to work and save money for fall
August 1, 8th: Get ready to go back to CSUn. Not sure if going back this week or next, but I will be packed probably by the first and quit Subway the day before I leave. I can't decide if I want to leave earlier and be in CSUN sooner to get settled down and start looking for a job, and be with Frank, or later and have more money?
Computers are weird
"Righty tight,y lefty loosey...righty tighty lefty loosey....righty tighty lefty loos....aw crap!"
the screw came loose again. I had been trying to rescrew all the screws on the bottom of my laptop after failing to figure out how to clean it. When it comes to computers, half the time, I feel like those elderly grandmothers who ask what email is. I think I have decent skills with computers in general, but when one stops working, the only thing I can do is curl up in the fetal position and chant, "Reboot and hope for the best." over and over. I actually know a few things about computers and such from my Dad, but while he is the Chuck Norris of computers, I fail to retain most of what I need to know about basic computer maintainance. I recently got a virus on both of my computers and had to restore them both. My laptop was resotred to it's origional factory settings, which means that I spent the last two days updating and reinstalling all of my programs. (I still run into things I forgot to install, and I lost my Microsoft Office in the process) On my mini, I restored it to "an earlier point" to erase the virus that was on it, so that is not as bad, because I restored it to earlier this month. i view restoring computers as akin to time travel. You know? Like on those shows where someone makes a "fatal" mistake and goes back to before it happened in hopes that they can prevent it from happening? Then they realize that by doing so, they kept the good things from happening too? That's how I think of restoring my computer. I got rid of the virus, but now I only have Office on one computer and I had to reinstall all my programs on the other. I am so so so so so lucky that I had zero personal files on my computers!!! I have them safely on an external hard drive, as well as my itunes library. I would have lost years of work and journal entries and art and photos if I had them on my computer. Not to mention all my passwords!
Anyway, back to my origional story: My laptop keeps shuting itself off, so I assumed (based on internet research and my Dad) that it was probably just dirty. So, this morning I got a screwdriver from the garage and tried to clean it myself. Mistake number one: Thinking I knew what I was doing and not wating for my Dad. Mistake number two: (this is a great one) not turning off the damn computer first.... Mistake number three: Not paying attention to which screws went where. I still have a very small silver screw that has no home and my computer is not cleaned. <_< yeah....cuz I'm smart. I recently posted a poem about being fabulous...that does not mean throw yourself head long into any challenge and assume you are able to accomplish it successfully. It means knowing yourself and your strengths and not being afraid to do something challenging for fear that you may fail. Well, that's my two cents of the day.
the screw came loose again. I had been trying to rescrew all the screws on the bottom of my laptop after failing to figure out how to clean it. When it comes to computers, half the time, I feel like those elderly grandmothers who ask what email is. I think I have decent skills with computers in general, but when one stops working, the only thing I can do is curl up in the fetal position and chant, "Reboot and hope for the best." over and over. I actually know a few things about computers and such from my Dad, but while he is the Chuck Norris of computers, I fail to retain most of what I need to know about basic computer maintainance. I recently got a virus on both of my computers and had to restore them both. My laptop was resotred to it's origional factory settings, which means that I spent the last two days updating and reinstalling all of my programs. (I still run into things I forgot to install, and I lost my Microsoft Office in the process) On my mini, I restored it to "an earlier point" to erase the virus that was on it, so that is not as bad, because I restored it to earlier this month. i view restoring computers as akin to time travel. You know? Like on those shows where someone makes a "fatal" mistake and goes back to before it happened in hopes that they can prevent it from happening? Then they realize that by doing so, they kept the good things from happening too? That's how I think of restoring my computer. I got rid of the virus, but now I only have Office on one computer and I had to reinstall all my programs on the other. I am so so so so so lucky that I had zero personal files on my computers!!! I have them safely on an external hard drive, as well as my itunes library. I would have lost years of work and journal entries and art and photos if I had them on my computer. Not to mention all my passwords!
Anyway, back to my origional story: My laptop keeps shuting itself off, so I assumed (based on internet research and my Dad) that it was probably just dirty. So, this morning I got a screwdriver from the garage and tried to clean it myself. Mistake number one: Thinking I knew what I was doing and not wating for my Dad. Mistake number two: (this is a great one) not turning off the damn computer first.... Mistake number three: Not paying attention to which screws went where. I still have a very small silver screw that has no home and my computer is not cleaned. <_< yeah....cuz I'm smart. I recently posted a poem about being fabulous...that does not mean throw yourself head long into any challenge and assume you are able to accomplish it successfully. It means knowing yourself and your strengths and not being afraid to do something challenging for fear that you may fail. Well, that's my two cents of the day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)